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It caused him to do things that did not only displease God, but also did harm to him and his family.
When Nathan, the prophet, rebuked David, he also told the king that his family will absolutely be affected by this. Shortly after that, his son Amnon, raped his daughter (from a different mother) Tamar.
His family was not affected through tragic natural events.
His family was affected by the venom of lust.
As David's encounter with Bathsheba was retold by 2 Samuel's writer,
not once was love mentioned. On the whole chapter was the shadow of lust and what it can do to a man's prudence.
not once was love mentioned. On the whole chapter was the shadow of lust and what it can do to a man's prudence.
In the retelling of Amnon's story, love was mentioned ... by the violator himself.
"I'm in love with Tamar..." (2 Samuel 13:4)
This could have been a very sweet line, if he uttered the word love and meant the wondrous truth of that big word.
However, reading the next verses, we would see how he carefully planned his assault on the helpless virgin. ☹ He heeded the counsel of a wicked friend. He did not think of any of the possible consequences, and only thought of the immediate pleasure he'd get. He was willing to deceive his own father. He did not respect the one he "loved" (he called it love, but it was clearly not). He did not care if it would make a fool out of him. He knew he could actually get her as his wife, but did not have the patience for the process. (2 Samuel 13:13) He did not want to wait.
What happened right after he took advantage of her?
He was filled with "intense" hatred towards her!
"In fact, he hated her more than he loved her."
(2 Samuel 13:15)
Could hate really co-exist with love? Not the love that Jesus teaches us. No, it cannot co-exist with hate.
Because of Amnon's selfish decisions, many were affected. Tamar was disgraced. Absalom was filled with hatred and killed Amnon. Their other brothers had stained their hands with helping Absalom in the murder. King David became furious, and lost a son soon after.
We might think that those stuff were too much.
But hey, that's what "pirated" love, or mere infatuation, could do.
This is still very relevant in our generation.
How many times did you, or a friend of yours, proclaimed "love" for someone you barely know?
How many times did "love" make you do crazy things that compromised a lot of things?
How many times did this kind of "love" negatively affect people around you and inflicted hurt to so many people? (e.g. your parents, your friends, your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend)
How do we know we are only infatuated and not in love? (Based on 2 Samuel 13)
1. You seek and follow advice from those who'd approve of your selfishness.
You know how much your friends get giddy over your feelings for that girl. But no, you would not want to talk about it with your parents. Talking about it with your spiritual mentor is just out of the question - you know he would not approve. Seeking advice from them would also mean putting out the flame of the kilig in liking someone this "perfect".
2. You are willing to break the rules, even of God Himself.
You know how much it affects your spiritual life, as well as your enthusiasm in your ministry in your school, in your church. You know how much God disapproves. You know it. Every time you hear the sermon, you suddenly think of your feelings for that girl as if God is telling you to do something about it. You are uneasy talking about it in a more truthful perspective. You are just not comfortable putting side by side your girl's name and the condition of your walk with God. That... could mean you're breaking His rules.
2. You are willing to do things that will inflict hurt on others.
Based on my experience, I was willing to hurt my family because of how much I liked that boy. And I think that's one of the most common "sacrifices" of young girls.. "I'm willing to disobey my father, and lie about it, I like you that much." "I'm willing to spend less time with my friends and spend all of my time on you, I like you that much." "I'm willing to forget my morals and just indulge in our love.. It's you, me, against the world."
We become this blinded, while the people who truly love us, stand at a distance, grieving as they see how much our unhealthy feelings devour us and keep us from being the best that we can be.
Sometimes, we also deliberately hurt other people as we try to pave a way to satisfy our own desires.
3. You only consider your own happiness.
You think you love him until you learn you love yourself more; the real you would be willing to have her joy compromised just to serve you your "well-deserved" joy. You think you love the guy but you demand too much time from him, because your greedy self has emotional needs you want him to satisfy. You pull the girl's hand to a dark cave, away from other people who also love her, just so you could get all that you need from her, emotional needs, physical needs, etc.
4. You are not willing to wait.
We somehow have to wait for God's perfect time, where God gives the go signal. God has a reason why we have to wait for the best things in life. He does not want us to merely wait for the perfect circumstance for what we want to happen.
It is about what happens "while we wait". You'd encounter God deeper as He cleanses your heart and prepares it for the time He would give that thing you are waiting for. (which apparently would be better than how you imagine it to be while waiting) He wants everything to be perfect so that we would experience the joy to the fullest! If we grab the gift too soon, the joy that comes with it would not be as rich as the joy He really intends to give ya.
But fret not, God knows how distorted our ideas on love would be. He does not want us to be hurt no more. He does not want us to hurt his other children.. That's why He offers free lessons on true love! We would not learn about it from other people. A relationship with Him would be the best classroom in learning how to truly love! ♡
Do not be a modern-day Amnon and settle with infatuation.
(which our immature selves could call love)
True love has a waaay better offer.
Have you had past experiences where you've mistaken infatuation for love?
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